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How To Drag Yourself Down And Kill Your Relationships
stop trying to make people happy
Trying to make other people happy is a ticket to being heartbroken and miserable.
You try your hardest, but it just doesn’t work.
It’s usually someone you love or respect deeply.
Spouses think it’s their job to make their partners happy, parents think it’s their job to make their kids happy, kids think it’s their job to make their parents happy….
Ouch, what a no win situation!
It’s unwinnable because you have no control over other people’s emotions.
When the other person isn’t happy (which eventually is going to happen), you feel like you failed. You take it personally.
The stakes get higher. You double your efforts.
You give and give but it’s never enough.
What made the person happy one day, doesn’t make them happy the next day.
You raise the bar over and over again, and eventually you wonder why you’re jumping through so many hoops.
Listening to rants and complaints, cajoling, bending over backwards, giving gifts, doing favors.…you’ve done it all.
You’ve turned into an enabler for the other person unhappiness, and always giving at the expense of your own needs is driving your own unhappiness.
You’re robbing yourself of you most awesome life.
What does it do to a relationship if there’s an unspoken (or spoken) rule that it’s up to each other to make each other happy?
Taking responsibility for other people’s happiness destroys relationships.
